The dick worshippers

The dick worshippers

Some idiot has gone and drawn a dick on the wall next to the elevator. No words, nothing, just an erect penis. Actually he had done it earlier too, and the admin guys removed it, and now he has gone and drawn the exact same thing again.

Why? I mean, like....why?

OK, stop sniggering. I was asking it seriously.

Go to any available unguarded wall, anywhere around the world – on ancient monuments, public toilets, government buildings, college campuses, anywhere – and you will find it covered with graffiti, the graphical part of it will be genital organs in all their glory.

Why ? Why is it so common? What is this uncontrollable urge to draw erect penises ?

To answer this question, I went to the one place in the world where it is still legal and socially acceptable to paint erect penises on walls of houses – and that is the kingdom of Bhutan.

Here the villagers proudly draw penises on their wall in glorious colour by technicolour for good luck and to ward off the evil eye. It is supposed to be in the memory of the dude lama Drukpa Kunley, who lived in the 15^th century and had a really cool outlook on life. He was fond of wine and women, and adopted blasphemous and unorthodox techniques to spread Buddhism. According to legend, he used to hit evil demonesses with his dick to turn them into protective deities.

Now that’s a religion I would convert to.

In fact, in earlier and more earthy and innocent times, the erect phallus was an object of worship across cultures.

The romans worshipped it as ‘Priapus’,

the Greeks worshipped it as ‘Pan’,

 The Egyptian god Osiris was chopped into pieces by the villain god Seth, and though his wife collected all the pieces and reassembled him, his dick was lost as it was eaten by a fish and Isis made a wooden replacement and brought it to life.So the 'missing piece' is worshipped on images called 'Herms'

 The Norse god Freyr is a phallic deity, not to mention hundreds of native American and meso American  deities.

The word ‘ithyphallic’ means ‘with an erect penis’ – so thats your new word for the day.

Most of these seem to be lost religions – even in Bhutan, the villagers are modernising and removing the dicks from their walls.

In fact there is only one current religion which still worships the phallus. Any idea which is it?

Yes,of course you are right – It is Hinduism.

Shivaling worship is the largest phallic object worship in the world. Ancient Hindus were far more sensible than the current ones are – they understood that sexuality is the essence of life, and it should be celebrated and not ignored or be ashamed of.

The classical Indian temple compulsorily has ‘maithun’ images on the outside of the temple – which is people happily fucking away. 

Once you get that out of your system, you go inside and worship the phallic symbol of the shivling – or to be precise the combined symbol of the ling and yoni, which represents the force of life itself.

Modern hindus get very hot when the shivling is referred to as a dick, as if it is unsuitable for gods to have genitals. They cover up the ancient statues with cloth to hide the bodies.

This is largely because of the effect of orthodox Christian and Islamic influences on current thought, who taught that SEX is BAD. SEX is SIN. Idiots. So now you have a situation where the modern hindu hates Islam and Christianity, but is brainwashed by them into believing that phallic worship is bad.

What is bad about it anyway? It is the font of life itself! The tool of creation!

Isn’t it amazing that 2 people can get together and by using their genitals, create a fresh human life?

If only gods can create life, then your genitals make you into a god!

Thats why genitals are worshipped – you have cunt worship in the devi temples –especially in the Kamakhya temple in Guwahati; and lingam worship in all shiva temples. What do you think the word ‘lingam’ means anyway?

Check out the 1.5 metre tall lingam in Parashumeshwara temple in Gudimallam, AP, which is supposed to date from 1 - 2 Century BC.  It is certainly unambigious.

So, the next time you see some idiot drawing graffiti on walls, resist the urge to beat him up. Dont get steamed up when you see porno graffiti on unguarded walls.

Maybe he is just a Shiv-bhakt, and doesn’t know it yet.

Jay Maha-lingeshwar!